do the other Beatnik writings, that one of the major structures of their unstable psyche is the need for change
virtually starving for stimuli, and inertia. There is the "will for power" and the "will for submission"-all these are in struggle for mastery of the psyche.
The reason so many of the Beats seek solace in Zen Buddhism is that they are prone to self-examination and . cruel self-judgement. Along with this, some turn, in a mild way, to existentialism. In discussing existentialism with the Beats, I have discovered many distorted thoughts and a very slight comprehension of the subject. As a rule they have absorbed too much empirical philosophy to make good existentialists. They try to rest existential judgements of false premises. However, the majority of the beat generation make excellent subjects for existential analysis because their major conviction is that man makes himself that he is not found ready-made.
They demonstrate these existentialist views in their mode of life and behavior. They choose their own morality and refuse to have any "system or code of morality" imposed upon them. Generally speaking, the real Beatnik is a pulsing, living example of "free commitment", even though he is fully aware society disapproves. He is not the selfish person he is so often pointed out to be by his critics. He wills his own freedom with intensity but in so doing he is fully aware the "free commitments" involves others. Therefore, in making freedom his own aim he correspondingly is espousing the cause of the freedom of others.
As the reader of this article will probably be more interested in the homosexual-beatnik I will cite two cases from many, that are representative of what drives the homosexual to "membership" in the Lost Generation. Naturally I shall not give their
names as they were under my counselling service for some time.
The first is Tom Doe who was discharged from the service when it was discovered he was a homosexual. Tom Doe was 26, and had had three years of college in liberal arts. Although qualified for work in electronics, through his service experience, he was turned down every place he applied for work. His army record was against him. Finally he landed a job with a corporation not engaged in government work. He had been made a foreman just about the time the company took on government contracts. All employees had to be "screened." Tom did not wait for his record to be discovered but quit his job. Because he had quit "without cause" he was ineligible for immediate unemployment compensation. He was buying a car and was considerably in debt over furniture and clothes. In desperation he resorted to alcohol and ended up some three months later on a pad in Beatnik-land.
Having picked up my book in one of the coffee houses and read it, he wrote me a letter (on toilet paper) asking if there was any way he could have a talk with me about himself. He stated he didn't think I could do him much good but that he had to talk to somebody. Our first three meetings. were spent with him doing nearly all the talking. Naturally the world was against him and there was nothing but despair in his consciousness. In existentialist language his "mistakes constituted a destiny" for him. He was convinced he was doomed to live the rest of his life as an outcast. One remark kept turning up at every meeting: "I am not really a homosexual. I am just misunderstood."
After a considerable time I had to take the bull by the horns, as it were, and make it clear to him that "selfdeception" was his worst enemy. So long as he continued to fight what he, in his deeper self knew was true, there
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